![]() As he wrote in his book, The Cost of Discipleship, true forgiveness is always a form of suffering: “My brother’s burden which I must bear is not only his outward lot, his natural characteristics and gifts, but quite literally his sin. Rather, this is a God who becomes human and offers his own lifeblood in order to honor moral justice and merciful love so that someday he can destroy all evil without destroying us” (Tim Keller).įollowing His example, the beloved German theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer (who was killed by the Nazi’s shortly before the end of World War 2), stood against evil without hatred or bitterness. “Therefore the God of the Bible is not like the primitive deities who demanded our blood for their wrath to be appeased. Through the death of Jesus-God in flesh-He absorbed the punishment for all the evil and violence of the world by taking it into himself. God reassures us that if we will allow Him to be the judge and executor, He will bring good from evil and transform our relationships from darkness and hatred to light and love. Most of the great hurts in life cannot be assuaged by a court of law, which is why Paul taught us, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine I will repay, saith the Lord” (Romans 12:19). If we want their pain, not their change, then we have ill will toward them. If our reason for wanting the person to be held accountable is to make them suffer, then we aren’t responding in love. You may ask, “But shouldn’t people be held accountable for the evil they do?” Yes, but that’s a somewhat different question. But, death to our own rights is better than a living death of being imprisoned by bitterness, because denying ourselves the privilege of nursing our hurt will slowly and surely lead to the anger and resentment burning out (as we refuse to fuel the flames with unforgiving thoughts), and eventually we will discover within our hearts a rebirth of emotional and spiritual healing, just like spring following winter. God calls us to accept the pain and bear it, which will produce an agonizing sense of death. So, how do we truly forgive? The old saying is true: “To forgive is divine.” We can only forgive by begging God to do within us what we’re incapable of doing for ourselves. That’s why God instructs us to “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled” (Hebrews 12:14-15). Rather than making the evil disappear, revenge just causes evil to spread from the perpetrator to the offended …tragically damaging their character and sending out waves of bitterness and anger that will impact those who are closest to them…and whom they love most dearly. Legal action will at best provide economic relief, but no court action can make the damage “go away.” Vengeance doesn’t really set the record straight either. No one can restore lost happiness, freedom, reputation, or opportunity, and the economic principle of repaying “four-fold” can never undo or make up for losses to a person’s emotional or physical well-being. 199).įorgiveness is terribly painful and costly, because the offended person literally gives up his right to take revenge or seek just recompense for the damages (which are usually totally beyond the offender’s ability to repay even if they tried). Everyone who forgives great evil goes through a death into resurrection, and experiences nails, blood, sweat, and tears” ( The Reason For God, p. Forgiveness means absorbing the debt of the sin yourself. Why? Timothy Keller explains it this way: “Forgiveness means bearing the cost instead of making the wrongdoer do it, so you can reach out in love to seek your enemy’s renewal and change. It usually starts that way, but the deep work in our hearts of sincerely forgiving another person-especially if the offense caused great damage-can take years. True forgiveness isn’t just saying “I forgive you” as an act of the will. However, it has taken me many years to understand what true forgiveness looks like, and why it is so hard to do. Jesus taught, “And forgive us our sins for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us” (Luke 11:4). ![]() ![]() Do you have anyone in your life who has hurt you terribly? Since becoming a Christian, I’ve always known that God calls us to forgive each other. ![]()
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